Sep 18th, 2005 by Jesse Moore
I love my wife. I love my wife to the extent that within situations that I normally would be comfortable in alone, just knowing that my wife is uncomfortable makes me apprehensive. Stomach in my throat apprehensive. For instance, my wife doesn’t like loud music. She doesn’t like anything with a heavy beat, a heavy riff, and especially anything with vulgarity. Minus the vulgarity, this is music that I can enjoy, and I can even take small amounts of vulgarity as long as it isn’t gratuitous. Tonight, on a long drive home, someone else had control of the radio. Each beat of the drum, each reverb from the guitar, and especially every vulgarity seemed like a thousand cuts to my heart.
I eventually asked the person to turn it off, but reflecting now, I realize that how I felt was motivated by the level of intimacy that I share with her. Not even those closest to Kami know the little things that might make her uncomfortable, and because of her nature, she might not make her feelings known. In those situations, as spouses, we come to depend on each other. In that situation, my taste in music (however unrefined) and my freedom to enjoy it means very little. I’m surprised though, to find comfort in knowing that I know Kami well enough that my response to outside influences changes just by being in her presence. This is not a Jack Nicholson “you make be want to be a better man” moment, but a sense of comfort that came from an uncomfortable situation. For the time, the knowledge of the intimacy we shared was a grounding rod in a lightning storm.
I eventually asked the person to turn it off, but reflecting now, I realize that how I felt was motivated by the level of intimacy that I share with her. Not even those closest to Kami know the little things that might make her uncomfortable, and because of her nature, she might not make her feelings known. In those situations, as spouses, we come to depend on each other. In that situation, my taste in music (however unrefined) and my freedom to enjoy it means very little. I’m surprised though, to find comfort in knowing that I know Kami well enough that my response to outside influences changes just by being in her presence. This is not a Jack Nicholson “you make be want to be a better man” moment, but a sense of comfort that came from an uncomfortable situation. For the time, the knowledge of the intimacy we shared was a grounding rod in a lightning storm.
That’s what I call real love. WTG! You dah man!
This is what marriage is all about.
Glad you spoke up!
Alex
I teared up… you two are so sweet.
Jane
Beautiful Jess.
love,
your Mom
Beautiful, both in truth and spirit. Beautiful, too, for your steeled vulnerability.
Dad
Possibly one of the best “expressions” of
Ephesians 5:25 I’ve ever heard.
Thanks for sharing that heart Jess.
“Husbands love you wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…”
I always knew you were a great guy Jess, and Kami is a wonderful gal…….you have a truly blessed marriage.